Sometimes

I worry about asteroids.

Hope Springs Eternal

It’s amazing how you can feel like crap one day and not the next!

Making confession after 31 years (while quite frightening) wasn’t NEARLY as unpleasant as visiting the new shrink yesterday!

I did it! I took my 4-page list tonight and after attending the Stations of the Cross, I made my confession and have been welcomed back to the Catholic Church. It feels good. I’m happy that I’ll receive communion this Palm Sunday.

The slight surprise was that even though my ex-husband and I were married in a civil ceremony, I still have to get the marriage annulled. I have an appointment next month to do the paper work…a month to search this place for my marriage certificate and divorce decree. I better start looking first thing tomorrow. We have rooms upstairs with boxes of books and papers that haven’t been unpacked yet. Good luck!

The job interview this morning seemed to go fairly well. This was only a first round interview though. Now, I wait and see if I’m invited back for round two. When my interviewer expressed concern that I was somewhat over qualified for the position, I smiled unabashedly and answered, “Then just imagine how I could hit the ground running for you.” Aagh! I hate job interviews.

The great news though, is that after my interview, I came home and checked my email. I received a response from another agency – an agency with a position much better suited to me and (to be perfectly honest) an agency I have greater respect for. I was warned that they’re in the process of a reorganization, and things will not happen over night….but one of the VP’s would like to set up a preliminary meeting. Yeah!

Thank you Leila and Trish for the good wishes.

I’ve Been SLIMED!

Today I went to my first appointment with my new psychiatrist here in Pennsylvania and I feel AWFUL! I don’t like or trust her at all. It was really (for lack of a better word) a yucky experience. Now I feel depressed and confused and slimed. I’m not sure if I’m being a precious, little snowflake of a consumer or if I really have cause to look elsewhere.

From the moment I entered the parking lot, I was turned off, by the cheesy vanity pate on what was obviously her shiny, new car.

Then she wanted to change all my medication. “No one prescribes Prozac or Valium these days.” She told me. (This is an out and out lie.) Maybe SHE has reason for prescribing other medications. If that’s the case, I would have appreciated hearing it straight. I’m open to discussion. I am just NOT going to STOP taking Prozac TODAY after 9+ years when I have this many symptoms going on and have an Otolaryngology appointment in two weeks. I am stressed out right now!

Regarding the Valium, I don’t think she understood that it’s NOT an open prescription that I’m looking for. I got my prescription (50 pills) filled before I left California. This is MORE than a year’s worth for me. What I would like in is the assurance that if I am ever in dire, vomiting, crying, shaking, hyperventilating CRISIS, my doctor will have the good sense to sedate me! Is that too much to ask? Oh hell! If that happened, I suppose I would just head back to ER.

She also wants me to see her FREQUENTLY (Way more frequently that any of my previous doctor ever saw me…even when I had the veritable, insurance, “Gold Card”). I explained to her that I didn’t have job and was paying out of pocket. She actually argued with me about this, saying “Your COBRA” will cover this, don’t worry.” I had to explain TWICE that I am not on COBRA and that because I am paying for entirely new coverage, pre-existing conditions will NOT be covered for the first year. She stopped arguing, but I don’t think she believed me about that.

Finally (this takes the cake)! After spending a ½ hour talking to her and describing my fear of disease and contagion, the woman INSISTED on my HUGGING HER in the crowded waiting room after our visit. That was inappropriate in my book!!! Inappropriate and disgusting. I am fortunately not in one of my super contagion-focused periods right now (ie: I didn’t need to shower when I got home) but am a bit grossed-out and think that was really insensitive for a psychiatrist.

Now I don’t know if I should try to find someone else, or just suck it up and go back to her next moth and allow her to experiment with me. When I told BF about the visit today, he asked would I go back to a hairdresser who treated me that way. The answer of course if “NO.’

BF taught me this about dentists and he was right. Dentists are aggressive salespeople. They will try to up-sell you on everything in the book and use their authority to shame, guilt and scare you into spending more than you intended to. The correct response with dentists is “Will my insurance cover this?”

Dentist: “Would you like the magic mouth wash?”
Barbora: “What is it for?”
Dentist: “It’s only $125”
Barbora: “What’s it for?”
Dentist: “uhh- it prevents plaque and cavities, will help you loose weight and improve your sex appeal!”
Barbora: “Will my insurance cover it?”
Dentist: “No”
End of conversation.

I’m still confused by today though.
Psychiatrists are not hairdressers or dentists.
I am the crazy one.
I am the potential addict.
I could be morally flawed.

The worst part is tonight I’m feeling so messed up…and I have an interview tomorrow morning (for a crap job, but in my field) and confession tomorrow night.

Who ever is reading, P-L-E-A-S-E send some good vibes my way.

Awareness

I’m really sick of hearing about John and Elizabeth Edwards and their cancer and Tony Snow from the white house who’s getting a suspicious lump removed. I can’t turn on the radio, TV or Internet with out being “educated” or gifted with “awareness.”

I’m T-H-I-S close to going into a panic over breast & prostate cancer.

I don’t have a prostate!

Keep your F*%ING awareness!

Metropolitan Opera Live Simulcast Performances

I know. I know…this is my third film/movie-related post in so many days, but this is really special. I would be shirking my responsibility by not making the following public service announcement.

The New York Metropolitan Opera is now broadcasting live, simulcast performances of select (crowd pleasing) operas to 300 theatres worldwide.

BF and I saw a live performance of Rossini’s, Il Barbiere di Siviglia (The Barber of Seville) at a local theater on Saturday.

Aside from falling head of heels for the big Swede who played Figaro, I am also in love with opera!

Prior to Saturday, my most significant exposure to opera was in February, when we watched a television, rebroadcast of Julie Taymor’s (English) production of Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

If you’ve never seen opera before, that is the production to see! The staging and visual effects (even on our small screen TV) were dazzling!! You don’t even have to be an opera fan to be wowed by the huge puppet creatures (see image above) and fantastic, Masonic imagery.

For a meager $18, this past Saturday, BF an I enjoyed a completely immersive, opera experience that started as we sat in our seats and watched the audience at the Met take their seats.

Then, there was a wonderful HD broadcast with very good sound. BF pointed out that the sound was so good, he kept wanting to pop his ears because of the slight flatness. We both admit that it does not give the subtle harmonics or overtones that you will hear in a concert hall during a real, live performance (similar to recorded performances of gamelan).

For us though, this was heaven on earth!

We’re now looking at the 2007-2008 season and deciding which performances we ABSOLUTELY, with-out-a-doubt, must see LIVE, in person at the MET.

Yes! We’re planning to make the 2 hour trek, at least once (depending on job status) to a New York matinee. So far Philip Glass’s Satyagraha looks like a front-runner.

If you have ever wanted to experience opera, but feared the $$$$ commitment or worried about how to dress, live, simulcast broadcast is the way to go!

We already have out tickets for Il Trittico next month. BF plans to prove you can have it all…nachos, Dr. Pepper and world class opera, all while wearing his Metallica t-shirt and flip-flops.

Sometimes, life is really good

Friday Dinner

Broiled Scallops

1 lb. large scallops
2 finely chopped cloves garlic
1 ½ tbsp. Butter
3 tbsp. Lemon juice
Salt
Lemon Pepper
Hungarian hot paprika
Steamed fresh broccoli

Turn broiler on. Rinse scallop and place in a shallow baking pan. Sprinkle with melted garlic butter and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt, lemon pepper and Hungarian hot paprika. Broil 15 to 20 minutes or until scallops start to turn golden. Remove from oven and serve with steamed fresh broccoli and drizzle with seasoned, melted garlic butter from bottom of baking pan.

Makes 2 servings (approximately 350 calories including broccoli)

Zodiac (A-)

BF and I went to see Zodiac tonight (Friday night that is). I liked it.

Wow! I’ve actually liked the last two films we’ve seen. I went into tonight’s film knowing practically nothing about the Zodiac Killer (except what I learned last week from Coast to Coast AM’s “expert panel”), so it was very interesting for me to simply learn more about the murders.

It was also fun to see the Bay Area in Film. I recognized Original Joe's! In the film it looked exactly like when we were there last year. What a great place. They offer ravioli as a side dish with entrees, and serve generous portions. BF and I are a couple who KNOW how to get our money’s worth at an all-you-can-eat buffet, but we took doggie bags home that night.

I digress, back to the film…

Zodiac was artfully filmed especially some of the transitional scenes. I didn’t realize going in that David Fincher is the same director that did Fight Club.

Entertainment Weekly’s, Owen Gleiberman describes Zodiac as "A procedural thriller for the information age..." I agree. It documents the investigation of a serial killer in a world without email, fax machines or Starbuck’s. It’s a convincing period piece that didn’t beat you over the head (too much) with its props. If you’re a film lover or true crime fan, go see it in the theater, if not, it will be worth the rental fee.

Unsuitable for Hypochondriacs

The promotional poster for “Mad Cowgirl” got me thinking…There are films out there that hypochondriacs like me should just NOT see.

So, just like the Catholic Light would list films that were objectionable for all audiences, I am compiling a list of Films Unsuitable for Hypochondriacs. The funny thing is, as a child, I would ALWAYS check out that list of films published in the Catholic Light and wonder about the priests who had the job of going and viewing all those objectionable films…probably Jesuits.

I can only come up with the following six so far, but welcome any additions to the list.

Dark Victory (1939) - Perhaps the best dying-chick-flick ever made. No one can die like Bette Davis! “Oh- It’s all going dark. I must be brave…” Pardon me while I grab a Kleenex. Check out the butts on her hospital tray. The gal is in for brain surgery! Where’s the bottle of vodka? Under her pillow, perhaps? A wonderful (yet depressing and scary) film! – I give it 4 Paxil.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) – Oh no! I’m becoming a pod person. I just know it. Donald Sutherland and Leonard Nimoy give great performances. This is just an awesome film. – I give it 3 ½ Paxil.

Camille (1936) – I say! Greta Garbo is right up there with Bette Davis. – I give it 3 ½ Paxil.


Sweet November (2001) – A dumb, dying-chick-flick. I like Charlize Theron, but she’s no Bette Davis. – I give it 2 Paxil.

Autumn in New York (2000) – Another, even dumber dying-chick-flick. Winona Ryder is no Bette Davis. – I give it ½ Paxil.

Bless me father for I have sinned

It has been 31 years since my last confession.

Now that I’ve come back to the Roman Catholic Church, I find myself wanting to receive communion, but in order to do this, I am obligated to seek reconciliation. This means confessing my last 31 years of sins…boy, have I sinned! This is going to be more that just sneaking into the confessional in relative anonymity. It’s going to take a while. I am going to have to make an appointment and go over to the rectory one day with list in hand.

The though of doing this is terrifying.

I assume that priests are trained not to gasp, laugh or laugh & point, but still my stomach churns at the very thought of it.

You Can Quote Me On That

KNOWING you’re crazy doesn’t make BEING crazy any easier.

New Self-Diagnosis & Product Endorsement

I just couldn’t help myself this past weekend. Against all better judgment, I went on a full exploration of my mouth and on an Internet search of my symptoms. Although I’ve gotten better about not permitting myself to do this, there are times, when I just can’t help myself.

Well, after my little excursion over to the dark side, I’ve come up with a new diagnosis for my condition, and I think I’m actually on to something this time…Thrush! (Candida albicans).

While thrush can indeed be a harbinger of doom, benign things like dry mouth can also bring it on. Dry mouth is of course exacerbated by anxiety and antidepressants (not to mention regular consumption of beer/wine and smoking). The son of a former coworker of mine was once diagnosed with thrush whilst studying overseas. He was otherwise a healthy, robust 19 year-old.

The good news is that I’m an anxiety-ridden, beer & wine drinking, occasionally smoking, dry mouth sufferer. Some mornings when I wake up after a particularly bad night of mouth breathing, my tongue is painful. I’ve known this for several years now, and have become big fan of the Bioténe
product line. This stuff is great, especially the new Bioténe toothpaste for sensitive teeth. This toothpaste delivers the goods and tastes great. I recommend the Bioténe product line to dry mouth sufferers and hypochondriacs everywhere!


So ultimately I am not too freaked out by my new, self-diagnosis. BF thinks I am now completely, “barking mad”, as he considers “systemic yeast infections” the bane of nuts-cases, along with chronic fatigue disorder and fibromyalgia.

The ironic this is that 13 years ago, thrush was one of the imaginary, symptoms I “presented” in the emergency room during an intense fear of Aids. Thrush was one of the worst things imaginable then…now, it the lesser of may evils!

I love BF!

BF just saw an article on BoingBoing about the 70th anniversary of the death of H.P. Lovecraft. He immediately came off with the following:

“Lovecraft is funny. Like, ‘eat your brain funny’, not ‘ha-ha funny.’”
- B.F. 03.18.07 Feast Day of H.P. Lovecraft

This guy makes me laugh out loud.

An Abomination

Some things should just not exist. I think this film one of those things. Just looking at the web site makes my skin crawl.

Needless to say, I won’t be renting this DVD anytime soon.

More Snow

We were snowed in for Valentine’s Day and we were snowed on for St. Patrick’s Day. I’m afraid to think of what will happen come Easter.

This morning, instead of taking the dog out for a walk, I put him on his tether and let him potty by himself, while I watched in comfort from the kitchen. He always makes figure 8’s for several minutes before pooping. This morning, true to form, he SWAM figure 8’s for several minutes though 12” of snow before doing his business. He knows the value of a good ritual.

Next thing you know, the phone rang. It was my Mom, out of breath and exhausted. She wanted to know if BF could come right over and shovel from her gate to her mailbox, ASAP!

I know that I have absolutely NO RIGHT to make fun of anyone else’s phobia, but that woman has a real obsession about getting her mail. She’s 85, has a pace maker, cancer…and has a self-reliant streak, 110 miles long. She was out there shoveling! God bless her! Worried that the mailman wouldn’t deliver if the path wasn’t perfectly clear.

She’s expresses displeasure when I’ve brought the dog over in the afternoon and let him run in her yard, because he goes crazy, barking, growling and snarling when anyone comes near the gate. One day, the mailman REALLY did pass her house because of my vicious, little guy (for a 25 lb. meatball, he really can sound intimidating). She was panicked that mailman wouldn’t come back…. EVER.

BF thinks that’s she’s afraid that undelivered mail immediately gets returned and told me how grateful he is that my phobias don’t extend to mundane things like the mail.

“Ha” I say, “wait ‘til I’m 85!”

It’s a Wonderful Life

Wednesday’s post about the lymphoma scare got me thinking about external factors that could be fueling the fires of my current hypochondriac/OCD/Anxiety episode.

First, BF and I relocated (Fall 2006) to a depressed area of the country from a bubble area to buy Barbora’s Dream House. Ok! I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a fixer-upper, somewhere between the old house in “It’s a Wonderful Life” and the old house in “A Christmas Story.” The “Christmas Story” similarity became apparent this past holiday season when BF really did run down to the basement (cussing) to change the fuse in the fuse box when I plugged in the Christmas lights!

It’s a 90+ year old house that needs a lot of work. It’s less than a block away from my Mom’s house, and I actually dreamed of living here when I was growing up. We’re slowly working on it, but unfortunately, most of what we’ve done so far doesn’t really show, like rewiring, exchanging the fuse box for a breaker box, adding outlets, putting in modern appliances, getting the old furnace, gutters, roof and chimney repaired and getting one large tree pruned. I know that once we get some fresh paint up and some new carpeting down, I’ll feel encouraged. It just hasn’t happened yet.

Also, this bout of anxiety coincides with us ripping out most of the original floor covering upstairs. I could be creating a superfund site! Asbestos, lead, Lord only knows what horribly toxic substances we could be stirring up!

Second, neither BF nor I have been able to find jobs in our former professions here. We have both been out of work for almost six months. The sad fact is that we may need to take part-time (or otherwise) jobs, pumping gas, cashiering, flipping burgers, etc…until we can find more suitable employment. Working as a cashier at a Wal-Mart would kind of suck, but what would suck even more would be being stuck here in isolation any longer, which brings be to…too much time on my hands.

Third, being isolated and growing more isolated by the day is not doing me any good. I would be better off in many ways, cashiering at Wal-Mart or volunteering with the local SPCA. It would at least get me out of this internal, worrying, spiral.

Fourth, I came back here to me near my Mom. The reality of being near her is both a plus and a minus. I love her so much and feel a lot less guilt, now that I get to see her every day, but she is in her 80’s and has cancer and heart disease. I worry about her and worry about her worrying about me.

My point is not to just whine. These are MY choices. I’m doing what I want to do. I just want to acknowledge that my life is chock-full of stressors at the moment. When this happens, my brain seems to want to compensate by dreaming up even worse things to worry about.

My brain is VERY good at this.

For My Young Friends Who Are Afraid

“What you fear will not go away:
it will take you into yourself
and bless you and keep you.
That's the world, and we all live there.”

—William Stafford

“Your boyfriend, he is doctor?”

Leila’s post this afternoon entitled, “Daymares” reminded me of a funny (in retrospect) incident that happened to me about six years ago. I was going through an extremely stressful time and suffering through a fairly intense bout of hypochondria and anxiety.

During a period of approximately one month, BF and I had moved and were still unpacking boxes, I was in the process of leaving one job and beginning a new one, and I also had to fly back and forth, twice from California to Pennsylvania, first when I realized how sick my dad was…and then again when he passed away. He was 85.

Gee…I wonder if real-life stressors have any causal link to my mental health?!?

Oops, forgot to mention that also just learned that my previous shrink had left Kaiser and the Psyche. Dept. was giving me real run around. I was calling every day for a little over a week to get an appointment, but kept getting told that they didn’t have a replacement for my doctor yet, they were already over-booked, there was no one available, etc.

I was sitting on the stairs one afternoon, checking symptoms and describing to BF all the potentially cancerous pain, tingling and swelling I was experiencing.

Suddenly it occurred to me that what was bothering me could be my lymph nodes! I hadn’t thought of it until that VERY moment. I offered him an area to feel and asked if this was a lymph node.

Without even feeling the offending spot, that SOB replied “Oh, if it’s your lymph nodes, then it’s lymphoma.” Aaaaarrrrggggghhhh! Upon hearing those words, my anxiety level spiked! The abyss opened in front of me…reeling, crawling skin, stomach dropping, sweating, heart pounding and shallow breathing accompanied by nausea.

I felt doom from my head to my toes.

The next morning I was having real trouble getting my shit together…sitting at the kitchen table pale, shaking and crying. God bless BF! He sat down next to me and said “You need help, NOW.” He then told me what to do - call the psyche. dept. one more time and tell them that if they couldn’t get me in that day to please let me know immediately so I could go directly to the emergency ward.

Amazingly I had an appointment less than 2 hours later!

I ended seeing a Psychiatrist who was even better than the one before. She was this wonderful, SERIOUS, Eastern European lady. No monkey business. When I told her about my conversation with BF about lymphoma, she stopped writing and without moving her head at all, looked at me above her reading glasses and in the most perfect “Bring me moose and squirrel” accent I ever heard, asked “Your boyfriend, he is doctor?”

“Uggh no, he’s an engineer.” I answered.

“I see,” she said went back to writing.

I don’t think there was any better response she could have given. I “GOT” it.

300 (A-)

BF and I just got back from seeing 300. He wanted to go on Friday, but I hate going to movies on opening night. You have to wait in line, only to be seated in an over-crowded nasty theatre.

As for 300, I really liked it! In fact, I liked it much more than I thought I would.

It was visually stunning! The film truly had the genuine, honest-to-goodness, look and feel of a graphic novel. Black and white sections of action set amid beautiful, lush, almost hand-colored looking scenes, slowed down and sped up for effect.

It was violent and gory, but hey! It was stylish. “Stylized” would actually be the correct word. It did not cause a visceral, horror response in me, nor did it cause me to curl my lip back at the cheesiness.

When in film, a severed head is shown falling to the ground and the director allows the rubber-hitting-wood sound to remain audible, or worse, permits the rubber-hitting-wood visual to be seen, I groan. Yes, I groan out loud in the theater (even louder at home). Upon first viewing (and I did look somewhat carefully at background action) I can find nothing wrong with the death and dismemberment in 300.

I thought that the monstrous, Persian, creatures were a little over the top (and a little too similar to the creatures I remember seeing in Lord of the Rings)…but it was pointed out to me that they were represented as depicted in Miller’s, pre-Lord of the Rings graphic novel. I think this is an important point to consider when viewing and judging this film as a whole. It is based on a graphic novel, NOT on historic accuracy. When I was able to suspend my disbelief and keep this in mind, I thought the film was pretty damned good.

I think the first film that really registered, as a graphic novel to me was Blade. It hit the nerve in a much subtler way…and then of course there was Sin City. Sin City was visually stunning but ultimately not as uplifting as 300.

300 was an impressive first, big effort for director, Zack Snyder, who previously did a bunch of music videos and advertisements. It is not surprising though. His background makes sense, given that the film is a collection of tightly edited, set pieces.

On Friday, Yahoo! posted a bulletin board for folks to respond to Zack Snyder’s question “What do we learn from Greek history?” The first response I read was from some ninny who went on about how Greek culture sets an example for us to respect and preserve art and architecture. Did that person even SEE the film!?! Come on!!! Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of art and architecture!…BUT… Greek history teaches us what it means to be free men!

[BF now wants to debate the difference between “comic book” (ie:Blade) and “graphic novel” (ie; V for Vendetta?). Aaghh! The only difference I can see is the stock they were printed on!]

Self Medicating/don't try this at home

Nicotine is truly a wonder drug.

I mentioned in an earlier post that although I officially quit smoking several years ago, I recently found myself sneaking a cigarette here and there, usually while drinking. Although wildly pleasurable, the smoke ultimately produces a feeling of guilt and remorse in me, and sets off al kinds of anxiety about health risks associated.

Well, BF and I had a good long talk about this the other evening. He pointed out to me that in addition to anxiety, I’ve been exhibiting symptoms of depression and that perhaps the nicotine was really my attempt at treating it. He mentioned several studies that suggest, nicotine actually possesses antidepressant properties. A quick scan brought up this article.

As a result of our talk, I decided that I’m not going to smoke anymore. Instead, I’m just going for the gold and upping my nicotine dosage with the patch. Yesterday evening I picked up a box of 7 milligram patches and applied my first one this morning. I swear, this has been the best morning I’ve had in months. One cup of coffee later and I had washed several days’ worth of dishes and took out the trash. I will admit that the 7 mg dosage is too much for me. I had to take it off! Tomorrow, I’ll cut one in half.

Meanwhile, I think I’ll shovel snow, vacuum, iron and give the dog a bath.

It's the end of the world

Meat-loving Calf eats Chickens

Didn't Nostradamus have something to say about this?!?

The Only Way Around It, Is Through It.

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”

- Frank Herbert

F.U.B.A.R.

On Saturday, I received a piece of mail from my COBRA Administrator saying ”We have been advised by your sponsoring employer that your medical coverage will not extend to your new location… Since your COBRA continuation coverage will not extend to your new location, you may wish to cancel this coverage effective with your current paid through date of 02/28/07.”

F**king! A!

I am not the first human being to leave a job at XYZ Corp. to move to another state!!! You would think they would have it together. It has bee driving me F***ing nuts since yesterday. I want to yell at someone NOW!

Meanwhile, do they think I can just keep the more than $2111.00 I’ve sent them in premiums ?!? And perhaps send more?

Ughh.. let me see?…I can keep sending you monthly payments for no coverage?..

Humm, I just don’t know? Gee – perhaps I should just sent another check right now.

As a hypochondriac, this sets me off thinking “If I have no insurance, surely they’ll find something seriously wrong with me.”

Relief is a mere 9 hrs. away. Although getting to a live person anywhere will be challenging. I want another cigarette and another shiraz!!

Not Visible

I’m disappointed that I didn’t get to see the lunar eclipse this evening.

I kept checking, but it was too overcast. I did get a glimpse of the full moon a short while ago and then suddenly there was a huge snow squall.

Under My Tongue

Over the last few days, I’ve been having some periods of medium anxiety over the pain, pressure and tingling I am experiencing on the right side of my right tongue, throat, ear, neck and eye. I know that things always ramp up a bit for me when I have doctors’ appointments pending (the end of the month). I say “periods” of anxiety because it’s not constant (thank goodness). It seems to just be a little more than usual over all with somewhat intense episodes in the late afternoon or early evening….I’m just peering over the edged of the abyss, not actually hanging by my fingernails over the rim. It reminds me that I need to work on a system for describing/quantifying the anxiety I’m feeling. I think it would be a useful thing for me to do.

I’ve been doing the “checking thing” in my mouth a little too often. I know it’s not a good thing, but I can’t help myself at times. I have held back from poking around in there with Q-tips, another favorite trick of mine but I’ve looked under my tongue (things look reasonably normal there). When I force myself to see how silly I am, I end up humming the Rolling Stones melody “Under my Thumb” but with the lyrics “Under my Tongue.”

Take your Prozac and your Claritin and shut up, Barbora.

Dinner

Collard Greens

2 slices bacon chopped
1 clove garlic chopped
1 medium onion chopped
1 lb collard greens
14.5 oz can chicken broth
White wine vinegar
Frank’s hot sauce
Salt
Zatarain's Creole Seasoning

1. Sautee bacon bits in large (deep) pan.
2. When bacon is browned, add garlic and onions to pan.
3. When bacon, onions and garlic are browned and just sticking to the bottom of the pan, add collard greens, chicken broth and approximately 1/3 cup vinegar.
4. Cook collard greens about 30 to 45 minutes stirring occasionally. Season to taste with additional vinegar, salt, Creole seasoning and hot sauce.

Makes 3 (100 calorie) Barbora-sized servings. These are large servings.

BF claims that the ice age didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs…but that I ate them all and when I got to the last one, I didn’t bother to replace it. (I think I drank his last beer or something once)