Sometimes

I worry about asteroids.

Hope Springs Eternal

It’s amazing how you can feel like crap one day and not the next!

Making confession after 31 years (while quite frightening) wasn’t NEARLY as unpleasant as visiting the new shrink yesterday!

I did it! I took my 4-page list tonight and after attending the Stations of the Cross, I made my confession and have been welcomed back to the Catholic Church. It feels good. I’m happy that I’ll receive communion this Palm Sunday.

The slight surprise was that even though my ex-husband and I were married in a civil ceremony, I still have to get the marriage annulled. I have an appointment next month to do the paper work…a month to search this place for my marriage certificate and divorce decree. I better start looking first thing tomorrow. We have rooms upstairs with boxes of books and papers that haven’t been unpacked yet. Good luck!

The job interview this morning seemed to go fairly well. This was only a first round interview though. Now, I wait and see if I’m invited back for round two. When my interviewer expressed concern that I was somewhat over qualified for the position, I smiled unabashedly and answered, “Then just imagine how I could hit the ground running for you.” Aagh! I hate job interviews.

The great news though, is that after my interview, I came home and checked my email. I received a response from another agency – an agency with a position much better suited to me and (to be perfectly honest) an agency I have greater respect for. I was warned that they’re in the process of a reorganization, and things will not happen over night….but one of the VP’s would like to set up a preliminary meeting. Yeah!

Thank you Leila and Trish for the good wishes.

I’ve Been SLIMED!

Today I went to my first appointment with my new psychiatrist here in Pennsylvania and I feel AWFUL! I don’t like or trust her at all. It was really (for lack of a better word) a yucky experience. Now I feel depressed and confused and slimed. I’m not sure if I’m being a precious, little snowflake of a consumer or if I really have cause to look elsewhere.

From the moment I entered the parking lot, I was turned off, by the cheesy vanity pate on what was obviously her shiny, new car.

Then she wanted to change all my medication. “No one prescribes Prozac or Valium these days.” She told me. (This is an out and out lie.) Maybe SHE has reason for prescribing other medications. If that’s the case, I would have appreciated hearing it straight. I’m open to discussion. I am just NOT going to STOP taking Prozac TODAY after 9+ years when I have this many symptoms going on and have an Otolaryngology appointment in two weeks. I am stressed out right now!

Regarding the Valium, I don’t think she understood that it’s NOT an open prescription that I’m looking for. I got my prescription (50 pills) filled before I left California. This is MORE than a year’s worth for me. What I would like in is the assurance that if I am ever in dire, vomiting, crying, shaking, hyperventilating CRISIS, my doctor will have the good sense to sedate me! Is that too much to ask? Oh hell! If that happened, I suppose I would just head back to ER.

She also wants me to see her FREQUENTLY (Way more frequently that any of my previous doctor ever saw me…even when I had the veritable, insurance, “Gold Card”). I explained to her that I didn’t have job and was paying out of pocket. She actually argued with me about this, saying “Your COBRA” will cover this, don’t worry.” I had to explain TWICE that I am not on COBRA and that because I am paying for entirely new coverage, pre-existing conditions will NOT be covered for the first year. She stopped arguing, but I don’t think she believed me about that.

Finally (this takes the cake)! After spending a ½ hour talking to her and describing my fear of disease and contagion, the woman INSISTED on my HUGGING HER in the crowded waiting room after our visit. That was inappropriate in my book!!! Inappropriate and disgusting. I am fortunately not in one of my super contagion-focused periods right now (ie: I didn’t need to shower when I got home) but am a bit grossed-out and think that was really insensitive for a psychiatrist.

Now I don’t know if I should try to find someone else, or just suck it up and go back to her next moth and allow her to experiment with me. When I told BF about the visit today, he asked would I go back to a hairdresser who treated me that way. The answer of course if “NO.’

BF taught me this about dentists and he was right. Dentists are aggressive salespeople. They will try to up-sell you on everything in the book and use their authority to shame, guilt and scare you into spending more than you intended to. The correct response with dentists is “Will my insurance cover this?”

Dentist: “Would you like the magic mouth wash?”
Barbora: “What is it for?”
Dentist: “It’s only $125”
Barbora: “What’s it for?”
Dentist: “uhh- it prevents plaque and cavities, will help you loose weight and improve your sex appeal!”
Barbora: “Will my insurance cover it?”
Dentist: “No”
End of conversation.

I’m still confused by today though.
Psychiatrists are not hairdressers or dentists.
I am the crazy one.
I am the potential addict.
I could be morally flawed.

The worst part is tonight I’m feeling so messed up…and I have an interview tomorrow morning (for a crap job, but in my field) and confession tomorrow night.

Who ever is reading, P-L-E-A-S-E send some good vibes my way.

Awareness

I’m really sick of hearing about John and Elizabeth Edwards and their cancer and Tony Snow from the white house who’s getting a suspicious lump removed. I can’t turn on the radio, TV or Internet with out being “educated” or gifted with “awareness.”

I’m T-H-I-S close to going into a panic over breast & prostate cancer.

I don’t have a prostate!

Keep your F*%ING awareness!

Metropolitan Opera Live Simulcast Performances

I know. I know…this is my third film/movie-related post in so many days, but this is really special. I would be shirking my responsibility by not making the following public service announcement.

The New York Metropolitan Opera is now broadcasting live, simulcast performances of select (crowd pleasing) operas to 300 theatres worldwide.

BF and I saw a live performance of Rossini’s, Il Barbiere di Siviglia (The Barber of Seville) at a local theater on Saturday.

Aside from falling head of heels for the big Swede who played Figaro, I am also in love with opera!

Prior to Saturday, my most significant exposure to opera was in February, when we watched a television, rebroadcast of Julie Taymor’s (English) production of Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

If you’ve never seen opera before, that is the production to see! The staging and visual effects (even on our small screen TV) were dazzling!! You don’t even have to be an opera fan to be wowed by the huge puppet creatures (see image above) and fantastic, Masonic imagery.

For a meager $18, this past Saturday, BF an I enjoyed a completely immersive, opera experience that started as we sat in our seats and watched the audience at the Met take their seats.

Then, there was a wonderful HD broadcast with very good sound. BF pointed out that the sound was so good, he kept wanting to pop his ears because of the slight flatness. We both admit that it does not give the subtle harmonics or overtones that you will hear in a concert hall during a real, live performance (similar to recorded performances of gamelan).

For us though, this was heaven on earth!

We’re now looking at the 2007-2008 season and deciding which performances we ABSOLUTELY, with-out-a-doubt, must see LIVE, in person at the MET.

Yes! We’re planning to make the 2 hour trek, at least once (depending on job status) to a New York matinee. So far Philip Glass’s Satyagraha looks like a front-runner.

If you have ever wanted to experience opera, but feared the $$$$ commitment or worried about how to dress, live, simulcast broadcast is the way to go!

We already have out tickets for Il Trittico next month. BF plans to prove you can have it all…nachos, Dr. Pepper and world class opera, all while wearing his Metallica t-shirt and flip-flops.

Sometimes, life is really good

Friday Dinner

Broiled Scallops

1 lb. large scallops
2 finely chopped cloves garlic
1 ½ tbsp. Butter
3 tbsp. Lemon juice
Salt
Lemon Pepper
Hungarian hot paprika
Steamed fresh broccoli

Turn broiler on. Rinse scallop and place in a shallow baking pan. Sprinkle with melted garlic butter and lemon juice. Season to taste with salt, lemon pepper and Hungarian hot paprika. Broil 15 to 20 minutes or until scallops start to turn golden. Remove from oven and serve with steamed fresh broccoli and drizzle with seasoned, melted garlic butter from bottom of baking pan.

Makes 2 servings (approximately 350 calories including broccoli)

Zodiac (A-)

BF and I went to see Zodiac tonight (Friday night that is). I liked it.

Wow! I’ve actually liked the last two films we’ve seen. I went into tonight’s film knowing practically nothing about the Zodiac Killer (except what I learned last week from Coast to Coast AM’s “expert panel”), so it was very interesting for me to simply learn more about the murders.

It was also fun to see the Bay Area in Film. I recognized Original Joe's! In the film it looked exactly like when we were there last year. What a great place. They offer ravioli as a side dish with entrees, and serve generous portions. BF and I are a couple who KNOW how to get our money’s worth at an all-you-can-eat buffet, but we took doggie bags home that night.

I digress, back to the film…

Zodiac was artfully filmed especially some of the transitional scenes. I didn’t realize going in that David Fincher is the same director that did Fight Club.

Entertainment Weekly’s, Owen Gleiberman describes Zodiac as "A procedural thriller for the information age..." I agree. It documents the investigation of a serial killer in a world without email, fax machines or Starbuck’s. It’s a convincing period piece that didn’t beat you over the head (too much) with its props. If you’re a film lover or true crime fan, go see it in the theater, if not, it will be worth the rental fee.